I feel as if things have been strained lately. Maybe its me, maybe its you, maybe its both. Maybe we are more alike than I realize. Maybe we are not as much alike as I had thought. Maybe what's wrong is so simple, yet maybe there is nothing wrong at all. I get a feeling sometimes when we talk. A feeling form you that it's hard on you to wait to be able to find the time to be together. But I feel sometimes in the things you say that maybe it really is hurting you, that you have the same strong desire, longing and need to see me as much as I so need to see you. Then maybe again it's my mind that is playing tricks on me. Maybe that's not what you're feeling at all. Maybe in fact you don't want to ever see me again. The heart can do many things when its alone, when it hurts, when it has a need that is not being fulfilled.

I sit and listen to music and do so much writing, which seems to help fill the huge void in my life of being without you, being so far away from you. Sometimes the pain is so great I can barely breathe. Have you ever just sat someplace, lay in bed and so desperately want to reach out, sometimes thinking if you close your eyes and reach out that you can feel that person, that someone you want so badly you would be willing to give up almost anything at that very moment just to feel there touch, just to hear there voice, just to look into there eyes and say " I love you "? Have you ever wanted to crawl through the phone just for that brief moment in time to touch another's hand, to place your hand softly on there face and gaze into there eyes? This is where I find me so often. There are times I can do nothing but sit and cry from pain inside. Agony of the loneliness I feel so deep inside. When you are not here I am incomplete, When you are here I am so very complete, so very whole again. Yet I know the time will come you will be gone again. Have you ever wanted to pick yourself up and tell your soul to stop all this, it hurts to deeply? Have you ever wanted to tell your heart how wrong it is to love this way?

Have you ever felt a hand touching you gently and hear a whisper "don't worry baby I'm here"? " Have you ever felt a sudden chill and knew at that moment someone so far away was whispering " Please feel me, Please feel I need you"? For so long now all I have ever wanted was to love you so very completely, give you  even a small portion of the sheer happiness you have brought into my life. To be able to show to you everyday what you mean to me, how important you are, how you so deserve much more than I can ever give to you. Yet at times I feel I give too much, I show too much, I love too much. I am left powerless and so filled with fear. I believe in you, I believe in me, I believe in us. I believe in what we share, what we have between us. I believe in the 2 hearts that are here, so far apart yet so close to each every day.

You are in every dream in my soul, you are in every thought my mind has, and you are in every piece of my heart. You are in everything there is about the "me" That I am or ever will be. I so want to be the same for you. I don't know that I can ever be that for you or with you But I will do everything you need me to do just to achieve that For you ! I will give to you all that I have to give, I will ask nothing in return. I will forever give to you all that you will allow me to give in whatever way it is that you have a need. I will do this through an unconditional love from within my soul.

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