Trying to Love you |
What power in the words to this song, I feel as if they are saying exactly how I feel..... All the things I've gone through, all the long lonely dark roads, all the tears, all the painful years of hurt and heartache, all the things I let go of, all from trying to love you... All the times I said " enough " I am done being hurt by you, I am done with you taking my soul and walking on it like a piece of trash you step on in the street. All the times I waited for you, all the times I wanted to scream from the pain, all the miles I have traveled, all the changing I did for you, all the sacrifices made, all from trying to love you..... All the excuse's I made over the years as to why you were the way you were, all the times I would question if you really loved me, all the times I convinced myself-yes you do love me and then I would wait again.... |
How my life has changed since the first day I loved you, how I as a person has changed, my heart and soul have changed..... How I always said I would forever wait for you, all from trying to love you..... And now...... Look at the road I am on, look at what I've done.... I've walked away, given up.... The one thing I said I would never do to you, to us.... I lost myself in you, I lost the me in all of it.... I never understood why it was so hard to love someone, it came so freely for me, it was the easiest thing for me to do, just allow my heart to follow what it felt the most.... I didn't have to " try to love you " it was always here... Why couldn't I be as strong as you were and just easily walk away ? All the times you said " It was self preservation " that made you do it but that you were never really gone because you'd come back.... I always felt so hurt when you'd come back saying all the things you do, then the last time I said " Just friends" , that didn't work, it was us all over again.... |
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And now it's you saying " Just friends " for a while, let things settle then we will make our way back. This time however I can't.... We both know it won't be long before you will asking for the same things you always do, sharing things with me, sharing life with me... But we both know I can't take all this anymore, it will be only a matter of time again before you will leave..... I have to let go, I can't do this anymore I have to be strong. I am with the same feelings and emotions running through me everyday, trying to learn not to love you....... Trying to learn to live each day without you, trying to learn everyday I tried to love you and lost....... Now I am trying to love me........ |
